Hey y’all, I’m Amber.
I’m 42, I’m a bookkeeper by trade, and as of right now I have exactly $0 in my retirement fund. That’s a long story for another day. Welcome to the blog where we figure this out together, one month and one sinking fund at a time.
How I got here
I’m neurospicy, which is a fun way of saying impulse control has never been my strong suit. For a long time that looked like debt I didn’t see coming, decisions that felt fine in the moment and absolutely did not feel fine six months later, and then the real kicker – beating myself up about it on a loop long after the damage was done. The spending wasn’t even the hardest part. The spiral afterward was.
What actually changed things wasn’t willpower (turns out that was never the problem). It was tracking. Once I started actually budgeting and watching my own patterns, I could start to predict myself a little – when the impulsive moments were likely to hit, what tended to trigger them, and how to put money aside before I needed it instead of scrambling after. That’s really what cash stuffing became for me: a way to save specifically for the stuff that has always wrecked my budget in the past; car repairs, medical bills, you name it. Not glamorous. Not always fun – though I’m working on changing that with some fun savings challenges. But it can be and has been extremely effective.
Where I’m at now
I’ve been budgeting and cash stuffing on and off for about four years now. Emphasis on the on and off – this isn’t a story about a woman who got her shit together once and never looked back. But I’m 42 with nothing saved for retirement, and I’m done treating that like a someday problem. It’s time to get off my ass, scale my bookkeeping business, get real about the next phase of my life, and grow my money as fast as I responsibly can – because honestly, I’m not getting any younger and this living in survival mode shit is for the birds, don’t you think?
So that’s what you’re going to watch happen here, in real time, including the parts that don’t go perfectly.
What actually changed things wasn’t willpower (turns out that was never the problem). It was tracking. Once I started actually budgeting and watching my own patterns, I could start to predict myself a little – when the impulsive moments were likely to hit, what tended to trigger them, and how to put money aside before I needed it instead of scrambling after. That’s really what cash stuffing became for me: a way to save specifically for the stuff that has always wrecked my budget in the past; car repairs, medical bills, you name it. Not glamorous. Not always fun – though I’m working on changing that with some fun savings challenges. But it can be and has been extremely effective.
Who is this blog for?
If you feel like you’re starting over from scratch, stuck, overwhelmed, and like there’s no real path forward, I made this for you. Specifically, I’m thinking of the women trying to hold it all together for their families, trying to give their kids an actual childhood, trying to find a way to live instead of just white-knuckling their through survival mode month after month. You don’t need a perfect financial history to be here. You just need to be ready to start where you actually are.
Some days you’ll leave a post feeling motivated. Some days, just a little less alone. Some days, more organized. Honestly, that depends on the post and depends on the day – and I think that’s just real life.
By day, I help small business owners and individuals get a handle on their finances and see their full financial picture – it’s genuinely my favorite part of my job. This blog isn’t a sales pitch for that work, but it is fueled by the same thing. I believe that when you can actually see your money clearly, you make better choices. I’m just doing it on myself first, out loud, for accountability and just to take y’all along for the ride. All while sharing my fav books that I’m devouring.
(Quick disclaimer: I’m a bookkeeper, not a financial advisor or planner. Everything here is my own experience, my own research, and my own trial and error — not professional financial advice. Take what’s helpful, leave what’s not, and please don’t take investment tips from a budgeting blog written by a woman who just admitted to having $0 in retirement.)
What to expect…
Budgeting wins and budgeting faceplants. Cash stuffing systems that work for me (and the ones that flopped). Books I’m reading and loving, and no, that doesn’t mean fluffy or snooze worthy self-improvement manuals. Think dragon-riding women dismantling oppressive systems, men who listen and care about their women, cowboy romance, cozy mysteries, and smut that’d make some women blush and clutch their pearls. I also love historical fiction, and genre mashups like Dungeon Crawler Carl and The Dresden Files thrown in for good measure.
Personally, I’ve found more motivation, inspiration, creativity, and genuine empowerment in those books than I ever did forcing myself through another “fix your life” read…turns out you can find new ideas for changing your own way of living without a single chapter implying you’re broken. And as I start digging seriously into saving and investing for the first time at 42, you’re getting a front-row seat to that too, mistakes included.
Some quick facts about me
Favorite food:Five alarm style chili with texas toast garlic bread
Pets: I have several cats and I take care of two feral community cats that live outside
Favorite song right now: Choosin’ Texas by Ella Langley (you haven’t heard this country song? GO RIGHT NOW and fix it!)
Favorite book this year: Of Ink and Alchemy is really really high on my list. The narrators of this book were just spectacular!
Coffee or tea order: Flat white with 2 pumps vanilla and half sweet half unsweet tea if I need a cold drink. I might live in utah but the southern girl in me is still in there.
Go-to budgeting tool/system: Paper and pen with a spreadsheet to give you the totals
Currently saving for:
Needs – New tires and health insurance
Want – a new car
Comfort show/movie: Off Campus/Twister
One word for my money mindset: phew
Dream vacation: Renting a yacht and sailing the entire mediterranean